


A Collection of Tumblr-related Drabbles

by Missy



Category: Crazy - Aerosmith (Music video), Evil Dead (Movies), Evil Dead - All Media Types, Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., The Fly (1986)
Genre: Crossover, Desperation, Drama, Ghosts, Humor, Memoirs, Mimes, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:58:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are the result of various folks on my flist challenging me to write various subjects.  In the first Ash mistakes a mime for a Deadite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Y’know, I’m a normal guy. Normal guy. Normal life. Y’know the drill. So what if I’m a little jumpy? You’d be plenty jump yourself if you had to deal with what I’ve had to deal with. So don’t go looking at me like I’m some kinda weird freak 

I think I’m justified. And I think anyone would agree with me.

Anyway, I was just minding my own business when it happened. Some kid puked in kiddie daycare and guess who they dispatched to clean it up? That’s right, your ol’ pal Ash. Let’s just say I took my time ambling out there. Anyway, by the time I got my trusty mop clean it was almost quitting time. I started walking south toward the lounge, all ready to check out, head home and pop open a brewskie.

That’s when HE showed up.

His white face hideous and ghoulish, his bright paint making him look like the blood’d been drained from his body. His mouth hung open in an ‘o’ and he kept making these weird, jerky gestures with his hands. I knew all the signs by heart – that freak was goin’ down.

That was when I wacked him right in the mush with an olive loaf.

And that’s why they’re docking my pay for the next two weeks. And they won’t let me into the Convention Center when the mime convention is in town.


	2. Ash/Annie/Sheila

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Ash/Annie/Sheila romance story.

In the end, they get lucky. Somehow the wound isn’t as deep as it might have been, and somehow they get sucked through the porthole together. Turns out they have good doctors back in ye old crappy times, even though they basically have to work with shit and bone.

Annie needs more time to rest up than Ash does. He quests out alone for the book while she lies around and waits for him to return. The brunette helps her out – when she isn’t steadfastly ignoring Ash at every turn and chastising him for every breath he takes.

Ash doesn’t ask questions. If he did she’d probably end up rolling her eyes at him. So he takes what he can get with grace, dignity and pride.

And trying to peep on them through the keyhole sometimes.

*** 

Things go down between him and the brunette one night. Ash doesn’t ask questions about his good fortune, about his own impulsiveness; it just feels right. 

Annie refuses to speak to him for days on end. Which one of them she’s jealous of, Ash has no clue. 

The battle fuses them together; Annie’s the smart one, the strategist who knows how to get them to point b – Ash is all muscle, all meat; he knows how to handle a bunch of soldiers and what to do to get them to perform to their peak ability. Silently, they work toward their goal – freeing Sheila, the kidnapped Sheila.

The not-so-helpless Sheila, Ash soon found out. 

They’ll never know how they got their miracle – how or why Sheila came back. But fortunately she did. But luckily they ended up between her.

*** 

He considered staying there. If they’d made him king he could have been revolutionary. 

But they wouldn’t understand such an arrangement in this time. Both women bristle at the very notion of being treated in a concubinal manner by anyone, and at least in his time they can do the Mormon thing (Ash takes note: don’t call it the ‘Mormon thing’ in front of Annie, it pisses her off).

*** 

Sheila learns how to make cookies in an electric oven. 

The first time she speaks up at one of Annie’s lectures, she calls a detractor of hers a “mealy-mouthed blunderbuss.” 

Ash just grins, and knows he’s home.


	3. Annie Knowby/Bobbie Jo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four seconds of comfort doled out between demon attacks.

She finds the woman crying in the bathtub. And Annie asks no questions, brooks no arguments. But she stands by and tries not to be too much of a bother, until the girl speaks up.

“I’m just so tired,” she says. “These dang things, they’re….they’re gonna get us, ain’t they?”

“No,” Annie says. “I promise you, I’ll try to get all of you out alive.”

Bitterly, Bobbie Joe laughs. “Unless you can see the future, ain’t none of us going anywhere.” She buried her face in her hands. Then the tears rolled in a stream beyond her fingertips, down her wrists.

Human suffering pierces her heart. It always will. Awkwardly, she reaches out and rests her hand on the girl’s shoulder.

The girl lunges at her. The kiss is desperate, almost painful, and Annie has her tongue bitten twice in the clumsy onslaught. But the moaning, unctuous heat of it all just gets to her; Annie tears open her blouse to offer something to the woman’s hungry mouth.

“I feel crazy,” mutters the girl. Annie knows. She awkwardly pats her shoulder and ends up with an armful of Bobbie Joe. 

Her fingers find her way down the woman’s pants. They find their way below her belt and between her thighs, making her wet and breathless with practiced ease. 

It doesn’t take more than a minute before the whimpering starts. She’s close. So close. Then something pounds on the door and Bobbie Joe screams, trembling wildly, turning into a ball of tension. 

“I’ve gotta use the shitter,” Jake says, and Bobbie bites her bottom lip, eyes wide, trying not to laugh.

“Just five more seconds,” Annie mutters. “Just a minute.” She flicksd her finger hard against the round raised bullet of the other woman’s clit and feels the contractions of her pleasure. She reaches for Bobbie Joe’s hand. It takes less than a second of rubbing to bring her there and send her off into bliss.

Bobbie Joe staggers out of the bathroom first – and, foxy as she is, has grabbed a bit of gauze to press to one of her scrapes. Annie takes the time to attend to her toilette, causing Jake to let out a frustrated whine as Bobbie Joe emerges.

“What’s going on?” Annie hears Ash say.

“Told you, Ash,” said Bobbie Joe. “Needed a quick soak. It’s too damn hot in here.”


	4. Robert/Sandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief Robert/Sandy Sundown fic.

The first thing he ditches are his tweed blazers. They’re impossible to maintain in the sunlight, acting like a sweat-soaked sponge when he tosses them aside at the end of the day. That’s how he learns vampires sweat even after death.

Sandy suggests he switch to cotton. Somehow the lighter shirts make things slightly more bearable, but in the end Robert continues to long for the comfort of cooler weather.

He applies for a professorship, and Sandy tries to teach him how to run the diner’s hot blood machine, but all in all it’s still something of an adjustment. 

He doesn’t even know how to retract his fangs after a good meal.

Sandy’s well-intentioned and helpful but sometimes it’s like she’s trying to glad hand him. “Your fangs,” she points out at one point, gently poking his shoulder. “They go back into your head but you have to concentrate really hard to do it.”

“But I have so many questions!” Robert cries, following her. “Do vampires sleep? What do they eat beside blood?”

“Just follow your instincts,” she encourages him. “You’ll figure it out.”

Robert can only hope he will. The townspeople seem to know everything, hear everything in this place. 

He hears those hillbillies sitting down by the gas pump laughing at his inexpertise already. “Sheeit! You had to pick a scientist!”


	5. The Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And yet Seth goes on haunting Ronnie.

She expects nothing from whatever days she has left. The dreams are a bonus, the kicking roll of the child even more so. She goes back to work for Stanis because he’s willing to pay for her. Because it’s a safe haven, after so much turmoil. 

Six months later, she sees him approaching. Looking so normal as to make her endless dreams a total lie. Looking just as he had the night they’d met, quiet and reserved.

“I must be dreaming,” she says, pinching herself.

“No, if this were a dream I could actually play chopsticks,” he declared, His fingers dust along the ivory keys as if the most natural thing in the world to do is play out a happy little tune in light of their sad circumstances. 

“Seth,” she says sharply.

“Ah,” he said, resting his hand upon the lid. “Have any requests, Ronnie?”

She sighs. Her hand rests upon the rise of her belly. “Show me the way to go home.”

“You are home,” he tells her. “Making it feel that way’s all up to you.”

She wakes up. The question lingers over her like a sword, like a lightbulb just out of the reach of her fingertips.


	6. Crazy (Music Video) Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'll always be her Veronica.

We were wild back then, you and I. We had our tiny skirts and our give-no-fucks attitude and five dollar cigarettes . Our parents locked us up in school and threw the key away, thinking we’d stay where they put us. They didn’t know that I found the keys. They didn’t know you knew how to sneak out a window five floors up and didn’t give a damn if you ripped your skirt on the way down.

They learned later on all about the real us. How we could go anywhere together, screaming the lyrics to some Aerosmith song, driving as fast as we can down the road. About how we’d make our money, make it being wild and outrageous and brazen and not giving a damn about what they thought of the hows and whys. And oh, how we could fall in love so easily and break hearts so carelessly.

They drove us apart when they found us in Houston. Your mom took you to a convent and my dad made me stay home with a tutor. Everything after that’s been teatime and fake smiles. I play pretend better than the best of them. 

I learned from watching you with your kin.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to you. Did you take your vows? Are you waiting tables in some dive bar? Are you dancing on a stage, those pretty eyes of yours staring into space? Do you remember me, like I remember you?

And at this point, does it matter?

You’re always gonna be the Veronica to my Betty. No matter where you are, no matter who you’re with.


	7. Ash/Annie Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They Don't Go Back to the Cabin.

They don’t go back to the cabin.

They bury some artifacts in the rich southern earth before leaving the place behind.

He does find a house where they can live, and they occupy it with flair. She takes a job in an anthropology unit, and he goes back to school. When they come home, they cocoon together and the rest of the world melts happily away into nothingness.

But sometimes there are nightmares. Sometimes they wake up rain-soaked and trembling. Sometimes he has to rub the tension out of her frame. And so he works the tension out of her leg, out of her hips, out of her trembling fingers until she curls up and goes back to sleep, his arms wrapped round her.


	8. Mia/Ash Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Touch is important

The first thing he tries to do is convince her to stop smoking. It goes over like a led balloon, but he thinks he’s entitled to the observation.

She spends so much time dodging raindrops. It’s as if water’s poison, as if if she let it soak into her skin she’d end up dead and gasping on the ground, in extreme pain and fear.

Well, it was his job to keep that from happening.

The tips of his fingers slipped down the curve of her breast, across to the thighs. He will be her balance, for as long as she can bear to stay on the beam.


	9. Venture Brothers, Dean Introspection Piece

It’s weird how quiet the compound gets at night. In the post-sunset purple haze, staring off into the Colorado sunset.

Dean Venture is a thousand miles over all of them, his legs draped over the side of the building, his chin resting in the palm of his hand. He felt totally unburdened for the first time in months, powerfully relieved and powerfully overjoyed. 

So they were clones, but Hank was right – it WAS kinda cool, being the lone survivor. And the fact that he’s a clone doesn’t necessarily determine the future. He won’t necessarily die the way his siblings had – and he won’t necessarily repeat their pattern of stupidity and failure. That had been what had been weighing on him – the knowledge that he’d been so naïve and dunderheaded as to do this to himself again and again, that he’d failed at life a number of times and he didn’t really know how to fix it.

At least one of the hims could have been a successful playwright. Just one. 

Still, he won’t let that revelation wreck his bad mood. Like a kid, Dean swings his legs as he sits upon the edge of the roof. It’s been a long night. Fun reunionfor his pop, though, but he’s got a lot to figure out, and Dean had no way to point him in the right direction. 

The most important fact still rings in his mind - Hank knows. Hank knows, he doesn’t care, and he’s probably going to consider whatever Dean told him as some kind of silly lark that meant absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life. He was still stuck in the same mindset; Hank the Brave, Hank the Adventurer. Hank who feared absolutely nothing. 

Dean still isn’t his brother – and he’s glad not to be.

Still, their family is important to him – always will be, too. But still, a question lingers in the back of his head.

What does happen now? Dean wonders. He sure hoped it didn’t involve some sort of permanent death, a bluescreen of fate. But maybe…,maybe it’ll be something glorious. Maybe even something great.

Hank’s blond head bobs around the corner like a friendly balloon. “Hey Dean – wanna have some cookies?”

For the first time in months, he truly smiles.

“Sounds neat!”

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **Evil Dead Series** , all of whom are the property of **Sam Raimi**. No money was earned from the writing of this piece of fanfiction, and the author makes no legal claim upon the characters within.


End file.
